An unexpected gift

Blue eyes, rebelling against his will and filling with tears, telling me the secrets of his grief.

Sadness, loss, aching...wisdom.

Eyes sagged and wrinkled around the edges, but still bright blue at the core. I can't help but wonder how those eyes must have sparkled when youth was on his side. Was it those eyes that caught his ladies attention? Did they well up when he said "I do" just as they did with me today?

"I lost my wife three weeks ago."

Handkerchief handy in his left pocket, he wiped his face and tried to hide his sorrow. But sorrow like that, which fills every cell of your body, takes up every space in your soul, refuses to be ignored. Refuses to be hidden away. It pours out of your every movement, brutally betrays your will to suppress the pain.

"Enjoy your husband, it goes by so fast."

These are the words he left me with, and I left him with an embrace that said more than my awkward words could have. Its funny how humanity hits you in the face, reminds you that life is precious. Life is fragile. And life is worth all the love we are built to give.

I will take this strangers advice, and hope to one day feel his loss. For to feel such deep sorrow means to have had its equal in love, passion, friendship and contentment.

The boys in my life

I woke up to the little footsteps coming down the hall, in the middle of the night. I just laid there silently until I could tell which angel it was. "I'm scared...." It's my boy, it usually is. He climbs into our bed and snuggles in between us.

It's raining which is my favorite way to sleep. Hypnotic and rhythmic. Drowns out stress and thoughts. Deep sleep...

Hubby quickly rolls out of bed, having not enough room, to go take the boy's empty spot in his bed. Before he goes I hear him whisper, "take care of your mom pal, she is afraid of thunderstorms". Then I feel a sweet, angelic, protective arm hug tightly around my back. A few minutes pass, he moves his arm to roll over and get cozy. Just when he does, a big thunder claps and instantly he put his arm back around me. I smile. I'm in love. And I am so damn lucky.

Good energy, good life.

Put good, honest, caring, compassionate, and thoughtful energy into the world and good things will come back at you. Be yourself, don't get caught up in negativity, and don't focus on the wrongs others will do to you. Keep peace with the knowledge that the truth and all that is good within you will always triumph!

Dear Universe:

Can you please send a staff writing job my way? Preferably an advice column, or a space to create positive and real commentary about love, life, and the pursuit of happiness. Or give me my own space in the advertisement and marketing world. OR a little slice of narrative heaven, creating back story and compelling, descriptive commentary for TV.

Dream job.

Too much to ask? I thought so too...

Positivity nourishes my spirit

I am feeling sluggish, down, and unmotivated. I keep writing about living out your dreams and living a genuine life and yet here I am in the exact same spot, another year later (with the addition of a new ball of squirming beauty that is).


My life isn't bad, in fact I am so blessed in so many ways. I have a good job, great husband, and children that seem to be plucked straight from my dreams. I am just missing something, and I don't even know what it is...


The real issue is confidence and believing in myself. Every time an opportunity comes my way I seem to either sabotage it, or completely ruin it with my lack of feeling worthy. So here I sit in the same professional and financial rut and I am so ready to climb out. But what path to take...


Now I know why most of my posts are full of irritatingly up-beat messages; these short three paragraphs were hard for me to get out. I thrive on positivity, positive messages, and positive people. And with that last sentence I now know my whole purpose for this post. Positivity. I need it just as I need water and light and when it is lacking I can not breathe. I will do my best to put out a positive and energetic vibe in all I do, in hopes for the same in return.

Sunflowers on a sunny day

My beautiful boy came walking in the door, complete with a sheepish grin and sparkling eyes, with a handfull of these "flowers". He calls them sunflowers and I just don't have the heart to break the news to him that they are actually weeds.

He was so pleased with himself, and told me they are a present for Mother's Day. How the heck did I get here? Having a five-year-old heart breaker? It was yesterday hubby and I decided to start our family and now we are a family of 5--complete with 3 little humans that light up our life; with a five year old that expresses love, kindness, and appreciation to his loved ones almost daily.

These weeds remind me not to lose my mind, to pull patience from deep inside when I feel like I have none, and to take pleasure in the simple gestures, the simple things that get sprinkled into our days between the chaos of life.

My fingers feeling the flow once again

Ahhh...I paid a big price for taking a break from my blog. I lost it all :(

When I became pregnant a whirlwind of emotion and anxiety, mixed with excitement and chaos ensued and I completely abandoned writing. As my wise cousin says, pregnancy consumes all of your creative energy; and that is certainly what my pregnancy felt like.

So my blog sat neglected, my hosting sat un-renewed, and all of my writing that was there is long gone. I was able to grab some posts from out in cyber-land--that I had posted elsewhere--and paste them back into a safe place to call home.

It feels so great to have my creative place back, to have a publish button back, and to have the desire to create my hearts music once again.

<3